I'm working on a poem, possibly a series of poems based around this character, Brad. This is an excerpt from one of the poems. He's sort of the athlete archetype, with a typical nuclear family, but there is underlying tension.
Ariel, this piece is complex and visually and textually interesting. I love especially that there's this illusion to the image... we're looking IN the windows, but the visual is of an outdoor space. There's a cool strangeness, too, with the repeated explosion in the windows. The colors in the text reappear in the image and create a symbolic connection or caption to the characters and relationships in the poems. The images and the text do work separately and then also inform each other. I wonder about the placement of the text around the windows. I'm not sure I can come up with a rationale for the spacing. What if the text made us think about bricks or the texture of the exterior wall? Hm. Just one thing to think about.
I like how simple this piece is. It is not overwhelmed with text, but a photo that is complemented by your poem. By having the bomb exploding in the window it draws you into the house because everything else is neutral. I like the use of the photo in the window elaborating on the tension of the family and Brad.
I like the simplicity in the house versus the background. The background reminds me of wallpaper, which relates well to the house and the verses because it draws you into the house, or into a room within. Before reading that this poem is someone else's I thought that it was your own and was about your own family, which made this piece very personal. The fact that it is Brad's makes me want to know more about who he is, or what he has won. Something that you could have done would have been adding more aspects of the family's life.
I love the combination of all of these juxtaposing elements: the bomb cloud versus the doll-like quality of the house and the quaint pattern of the wallpaper-esque background. Even the choice of font seems to work well with your mood, as typewriter keys, at least to me, always carried with them some sense of distance, apathy, or control. The poetry itself is intriguing and I can feel the underlying narrative at work. The bomb defies the viewer's expectation of a standard house fire, removing any speculation of accident (there is so much intention in this choice of icon). I'd like to see more. A book of these telling a story would be fascinating.
Ariel, this piece is complex and visually and textually interesting. I love especially that there's this illusion to the image... we're looking IN the windows, but the visual is of an outdoor space. There's a cool strangeness, too, with the repeated explosion in the windows. The colors in the text reappear in the image and create a symbolic connection or caption to the characters and relationships in the poems. The images and the text do work separately and then also inform each other. I wonder about the placement of the text around the windows. I'm not sure I can come up with a rationale for the spacing. What if the text made us think about bricks or the texture of the exterior wall? Hm. Just one thing to think about.
ReplyDeleteI like how simple this piece is. It is not overwhelmed with text, but a photo that is complemented by your poem. By having the bomb exploding in the window it draws you into the house because everything else is neutral. I like the use of the photo in the window elaborating on the tension of the family and Brad.
ReplyDeleteI like the simplicity in the house versus the background. The background reminds me of wallpaper, which relates well to the house and the verses because it draws you into the house, or into a room within. Before reading that this poem is someone else's I thought that it was your own and was about your own family, which made this piece very personal. The fact that it is Brad's makes me want to know more about who he is, or what he has won. Something that you could have done would have been adding more aspects of the family's life.
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DeleteI love the combination of all of these juxtaposing elements: the bomb cloud versus the doll-like quality of the house and the quaint pattern of the wallpaper-esque background. Even the choice of font seems to work well with your mood, as typewriter keys, at least to me, always carried with them some sense of distance, apathy, or control. The poetry itself is intriguing and I can feel the underlying narrative at work. The bomb defies the viewer's expectation of a standard house fire, removing any speculation of accident (there is so much intention in this choice of icon). I'd like to see more. A book of these telling a story would be fascinating.
ReplyDelete